Monday, August 31, 2009

Weight Loss Woes

So, I've been trying all month to lose weight. I have like 15lbs to lose to get to pre-preggers weight and over 30 to get to my goal weight.

After working out almost every day for a month and watching how much I eat, I lost a glorious 1lb.

I gave up and doing things the "balanced" way and decided to tackle this problem via the only method that has helped me lose weight in the past...

And I'm not going to share what it is because that method is tied up with so much slander that every one is going to think I'm doing something stupid.

Its the end of day one and I feel horrid. I have a headache and just want to go to sleep. Luckily, I only have one more day of this to go.

And when its up, I have a baptism post to write.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Beauty and the Beast

My freshman year of college, I met this young man who prided himself on being contrary. He was cruel, rude, and totally self-absorbed.

I was feeling a bit risky and college freedom was getting to my head. I did so many things in the first 3 months of college that I had never done before - one being I tried out for the Dance Team...

When he was being rude and boarish, I was being optimistic, friendly, and persistent. In other words, I was being annoying because he was being annoying. For some reason, he liked it and I started to see a different side of him.

We started dating. And as much as my friends hated him because of how rude and mean he was, I justified it because he was someone else with me.

I thought that if he cared enough about me and I was nice enough to him, he would change.

So many girls out there think this - that if a guy is "broken" in their eyes, they can fix him by loving them and being loved by them. Its frustrating to nice guys, because nice girls will fall for the "bad boys". It leads to unhealthy relationships later when the "bad boys" don't change and wives become angry, bitter, and nagging - and those men get distant and self-absorbed.

One of my favorite movies as a little girl perpetuates this thing about love from a woman can change a man - Beauty and the Beast. I was watching it today and there are so many unrealistic expectations in it, its ridiculous. Thing is, Belle doesn't think she can change him...she just does with no real effort on her part. She doesn't give him any opportunities thinking he might change - he changes before she falls for him. And he changes because he wants her to fall for him.

Grease had the same dynamic. Sandy thinks Danny is a very nice guy (and he is when he is with her in Austrailia). When she sees him in the states, she discovers he's not such a nice guy and gives him the cold shoulder most of the time. Its not until the end that Danny finally gives up and decides to be the nice guy...only Sandy decided it was easier to join in.

You don't fall for a guy thinking you can change them. You don't marry a guy thinking you can inspire him to be better. If he's going to change with you as inspiration, he's gonna do it while you refuse to give him the time of day because he's such a "bad boy".

Friday, August 21, 2009

Worth it?

Ok. I'm really bad at doing cost estimates.

I can call around and ask for an estimate, but if someone has to come out and give me an estimate, the only way I'll say no is if I already know what a reasonable cost is for the circumstances.

Maybe its bad money sense, but I feel rude having someone come out, inspect, give estimate and tell them "no" when I might not find a better deal (because I just don't know).

And I hate this not knowing stuff. They should have some kind of a website for homeowners where they document how much they paid for a certain service (and for car owners) so they have an idea of what to expect for a ball-park figure.

Anyway, my sewage backed up today while I was washing Ethan's laundry...and the toilet overflowed all over the carpet.

I called the plumber and carpet cleaners. The plumber dug up our pipe (in our beautiful garden, though he was respectful of the plants) and found a pipe with no cap on was clogged by MULCH from the garden. It cost $249.00 to "snake" the pipes. I wonder if I can find out who laid our sewer line and request a reimbursement for the lack of a cap? Probably. I'll try that.

But here's the thing - the only other estimate I got was a ball-park figure based on the length of the lines and stuff - she said $165 - 250. So...because I ended up at the far end of that estimate does it mean I coulda gotten cheaper?

Now I'm waiting on a cost estimate from the carpet cleaners for carpet replacement - because yes, when there is a sewage back-up you WANT to replace the carpet. Ewww for other people's feces all over your carpet.

Now - for any new homeowners, when your toilet starts bubbling while your doing laundry, get your pipes looked at to avoid the mess that results.

A Morbid Post

I just spent 5 hours driving from Savannah, GA to Orlando, FL tonight. It was...FUN!!!! (not so much) Needless to say, I'm happy to be home.

The trip up was incredibly easy cuz I had a good source of entertainment - I listened to Rush Limbaugh for the first time in my life. I couldn't help but brag to my dad afterwards. He was very proud of me =p

Anyway, all that time in the car gave me the opportunity to let my brain wander. Among the topics that crossed my mind were my arguments for infant baptism, sanctity of motherhood, and fear of death.

Baptism can wait. Seeing as this is a morbid post, we'll go with the last two =p

First, fear of death. I have NEVER been afraid of death in my life. I just wasn't worried about it. I knew where I was going. I still do, but its more complicated now...and it really shouldn't be. However, I'm no longer this independent creature who, when death comes, will only leave behind aging parents and separated siblings and a handful of friends (I'm so cold, I know - I realize they love me very much and my death would be hard on them, but its really different now). When I became a wife, things started to change. Ok...engagement and the prospect of motherhood really began the change. But the marriage and house actually solidified the first part and the birth solidified the second. First, here was this man who had just given up everything for me. He has invested the rest of his life in me. He loves me. Not because he has to because he's a good person. He loves me because he chose to. I don't want to die anytime soon because of that - I don't want him to be left behind with all this stuff he put together for our life together with no life together.

Then there was Ethan. And every time I think of dying now, it involves Ethan crying for me and my not coming to him. And that just tears me up inside. IN a very bad way.

And then this went in a new direction - abortion and all these stories of mothers hurting their children. And I finally understand why mothers doing this appalls me so much more than hearing about fathers doing such things.

You see, from the moment of conception to birth, a baby is relying solely on its mother for survival. Its life is so utterly dependent on the mother. And here is this woman, with this child in her safe-keeping, who violates that protection that her body is providing for her child - violating the very purpose of her body at that point in time - and destroying it for some stupid, selfish reason.

And then, after birth, that child so naturally and instinctually trusts implicitly and loves unconditionally this woman who has just given birth to him. Fathers, they learn to trust in those first days, first weeks, first months - mothers = trust to them.

So when a mother harms her child, she is violating and betraying that trust. She throws away the only one who truly loves unconditionally.

Its horrid.

Enough. I'm going to bed with my hubby now.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Baby Juggle does one go shopping with a baby in the rain?

I find myself limited in ways I never really comprehended before motherhood...

Odd the things you give up.

Some Updated Pics of Baby

From Ethan

Mother and Son ;)

From Ethan

One of my favorites...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Edmund, Lucy, and Extending Grace

I have been watching Prince Caspian like every night this week.

Movie channels keep playing it at the same time every night and I tend to like having something playing in the background - a habit I picked up from a college roommate and a life of younger siblings.

In this story, Peter and Susan are told that they will not be returning to Narnia again. Reason is, they've lost their child-like faith. Its not that they are "too mature" to be there - its that they don't believe the way Lucy and Edmund do.

And then that brings me to something else. Lucy, everyone gets. She's the child-like one who ALWAYS believed even when criticized for it and told she was being childish. Everyone knows why she gets to return to Narnia.

But Edmund? He had the most shocking transformation between the first and second books. And in Prince Caspian, he comes off as a thousand times more spiritually mature than either of his older siblings. Between him and Lucy develops a bond that transcends earthly brother/sister status. They are kindred spirits who truly recognize the grace that has brought them to Narnia. And Edmund's transformation and wisdom comes from the acceptance of a gift that he truly understands as such - because his sin was so obvious and so big by our standards that when forgiven of it, he knows he is not worthy of it but desperately wants it.

That is one kind of Grace - the grace of God.

The other one on my mind is that between Christians.

I've been trying to figure out how to make a case for infant baptism. Its not that I think later baptism is wrong - in fact, I think it is just as good, if not better. However, there is a statement that I am making in having my son baptized that I WANT and NEED to make. And it is an expression of my faith that I would want to bring my son into the covenant that I share with God.

People may find me theologically incorrect here - even though I believe that the OT gives me a case to support me. Thing is, I don't really care - whereas they care way too much (in my opinion). Baptism, to me, is simply an expression of faith. It is not a mandatory expression, it is simply one of many. Like fasting or volunteering in your church or being a missionary. It is not required for salvation.

And the argument that "Jesus did it, so should we" doesn't hold, either. If that were true, we should all go out into the desert with no food for 40 days and hang on a cross for the world's salvation.

I'm willing to give grace on the subject, but I sure am tired of people discrediting my own baptism or the theology behind my having my son baptized. It really is not that big a deal.

Monday, August 10, 2009

A Change in Decorum

I've noticed something about motherhood...

Nursing makes you think less and less about modesty because your breasts are not associated with sex anymore.

Kinda like the late stages of pregnancy make all things vagina open conversation.

I've gone from Venus to Gaia. Nothing sexy here.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Amazing Quote

There are lots of people who hide their careers from their parents; hit men...exotic dancers...AIG executives...

Evan Lawson, CEO of HankMed, Royal Pains

Monday, August 03, 2009

A Thorny Issue

There's a passage in one of Paul's letters (I'm being lazy and not looking up the passage) that talks about a certain thorn in his side.

It is a sin that he struggles with constantly. He never says what it could be anything. All we know is its a sin.

He says that as much as he wishes this thorn to be gone, he is grateful for it...WHY? Why is he grateful for SIN??? Because through his weakness, God's strength is displayed.

Now, I'm not saying go out and sin and let God be glorified =p

I'm just saying that everyone struggles with something. For me, it was sexual morality I struggled with. No matter how much I tried, I always fell down. It was always painful and I've paid the consequences of it. But I have to say - I never really did anything wrong (not bad enough to really feel consequences from God) until the first time I did something sexual. And through the process of breaking down in confession and asking for forgiveness and going through that healing, I never really understood what Grace was.

And I think that for a lot of cradle-christians (christians from birth), they have a very limited idea of Grace until they mess up like that. And I understand what Paul meant.