I wonder, sometimes, what God's plans are for me.
What exactly does God want me to be doing to further his kingdom? It seems to me that I've screwed up in my walk with him so many times that I can't possibly be a viable witness, anymore...
Especially right now.
What would you say if I told you the secret that I'm hold close to my heart as a mother holds her infant to her bosom? That I'm a disappointment and a hypocrit?
Trust me, I know just how much of a hypocrit I am...and EVERY Christian is... I mean, we're a people that believe in a God that saves us from sin in the past and future that look down on anyone (other than ourselves) who sin. We're a people that believe no matter how hard we try, we're all sinners, but we try our damndest not to sin. We're a people who believe we are all sinners and in need of a savior, but reaching out to sinners to tell them about our savior is against every fiber in our being...
And yet, as I've lived, God has used me as the perfect witness in every situation he's placed me in....whether I was aware of it or not.
An example of genuine belief, genuine desire to do right, inclinations to do wrong, and never perfect... An example of progressive work. I really hope that the grace and gifts God has shown me are enough to convince people that he still loves me when they find out my secret.