Cold-blooded Killer

For the record, I absolutely DETEST people who villainize all women who have had an abortion.

Yeah, some of them just get one for their bodies, money, irresponsibility, lifestyle and fully know exactly what they are doing.

But not all of them. And it makes me sick to my stomach and want to scratch a man's eyeballs out when he refers to all of those women as cold-blooded killers.

I have no idea why I'm so passionate on this subject, but it is one of the ONLY things that has truly found a home in my heart...a passion to have compassion for pregnant women seeking an abortion and women who have already had one.

Doesn't make me pro-choice, as I'm an incredibly passionate anti-abortionist...but I will not villainize those women simply because they felt they had no other choice.

Is there anything I can do?

A polite question... especially when asked while cleaning the bathroom.

"SURE! Grab that toilet brush and go at it at that brown stain on the bottom of the toilet bowl!"

Yummm...

Well, what would you think if your making your secret recipe of that absolutely DIVINE cheese cake? "Eh...they just want the credit for my delicious food..."

I was reading a review of Albert Mohler's Bible Q & A over at this blog. He discusses Semi-Pelagianism and why it would be so attractive to human nature. The thought that began echoing in my cerebral chamber had something to do with how well it echoed Genesis 3:16,

Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.

Here's how he defined Semi-Pelagianism:

• Rather than being morally evil at birth, humans are morally neutral


• We need some help to make ourselves holy, but holiness is attainable

Compare that last one to some of the passages in Romans. Its kind of an elusive heresy, but it is subtly there.

Here's what Mohler had to say about why people would accept this view, undermining the Biblical portrayal of Grace. (Quoted from Dr. Ransom's blog)

“Why do people not see the doctrines of Grace?” The answer is that “we would like to have a part in this thing —” that is, being redeemed by Christ. This is similar to the scribes and Pharisees in the New Testament, he said, who just continually miss the point. “We can see ourselves among the scribes and Pharisees too, because — we would like to have a hand in this! This is just us — and we all know we need Grace, but what most of us want, or think we want, is enough Grace to get by. And thus, a semi-Pelagian system makes perfect sense.”

It was interesting, because this is kind of the reason why wives so adamently want to share in their husbands authority. They want to have an equal say in this, because they want some credit if all goes well, too! And if its an utter failure, "Well God shoulda made it easier..."

Because husbands are humans too, this leads into a lot more problems between wives that want to have an authoritarian position and their husbands...namely, this: Husbands ain't perfect. And they will mess up. Which makes justification for women helping out SO much easier. "Well, you were involved in the decision making process too, so it isn't all my fault!"

I think this is where Mohler's Headship theology finds its definition and meets its doom (short-lived, I know). IF the woman actually DOES submit, and leave all the decision making to the husband, giving him FULL authority in the household, than yep - its the man's fault when things go wrong. BUT (BUT BUT BUT!!! <- don't miss all those BUTS!!!) We don't live in a perfect world. And no man is going to make perfect decisions and no woman is going to live in perfect submission...there will be tension as sinful natures struggle for dominance; as Eve deals with her curse, and Adam gets fed up with dealing with Eve. Unlike the Christ-church relationship, both of our members are not perfect.

I just found it an interesting parallel between semi-pelagianism in the church and the desire to usurp authority in the woman.

So, some advice for the women - submit. We don't know why God tells us to do so (certainly we're not inferior to men?!?!), but he DOES. And that is key, here. He DOES tell us to submit. So do it.

However, I would also encourage women, when seeking a husband, to find one such man that you CAN submit to. One who you can trust to make sound decisions for your family, one you trust to respect your dignity and your own gifts, one who is strong enough to deal with rebellion when it creeps into your daily life (because it WILL). Those things are a thousand times more important than good looks and money.

Circles

Man: "I won't protect a woman unless I can trust her to submit"

Woman: "I won't submit to a man unless I can trust him to protect me"

And round and round we go.

WEEEE!

Dream Man Revised

Every girl has their ideal man. He's the one that floats in their minds when they have no other man to dream about. Famous male literary figures take on that shape as your reading...with the minor changes that the author deems important for us to take note of.

The ideal?

- Tall
- Dark
- Handsome
- 5 o'clock shadow

Lol. Cliche, ain't it?

Well, today I'm modifying it. Five o'clock shadows are NOT ideal. Let it be clean shaven or full beard, cuz 5 o'clock shadows are PAINFUL...so says my very raw chin and nose.

Silver Anniversary

Today is a very special day. Today is one of those rare occassions that you don't come across so much these days.

Today is my parents' 25th Wedding Anniversary.

My cubemate thought it funny that I'd want to buy something for my parents on THEIR anniversary. He was under the impression that it was something they did for themselves.

Well, that's the difference between dating and marriage...the difference between cohabitation and actually making binding vows between yourselves and God before your family, friends, church, neighbors, and community.

You see, their marriage isn't just for their benefit. I have been blessed by my parents being committed to themselves for 25 years. I have grown to cherish the institution of marriage, recognize its worth among myself and my siblings, and am eternally grateful that even when they didn't feel like it, they stuck together.

They have been examples of what it means to exhibit self control, self sacrifice, unconditional love, communication, compromise, and simply what it means to be in a relationship with people.

And here they are celebrating their 25th :)

Its amazing!

To Submit an Intelligent Mind

My boyfriend and I had a very interesting discussion tonight...

Apparently we have vastly different views of submission and authority. I'm more traditional, and he's more egalitarian - figure that one out.

Oh, he's not emasculated...oh that's DEFINITLY not him. In fact, he is a rather good leader and has no problem taking a role of authority.

No, he happens to like an intelligent woman...and to him, the role of submission is a complete waste of her intelligence.

Me, I didn't think submission came at the cost of my intelligence. But he seemed to think so and he was against it. So, is it possible for an intelligent woman to benefit a marriage with her intelligence if she is truly being submissive? Or is it up to the husband (and a demonstration of his true leadership) to take into account his wife's intelligence when making a decision that affects them both?

Undeserved Mercy

I'm listening to the Adventures in Odyssey episode from Saturday. These two episodes have been my absolute favorites since I first heard them OH so long ago.

There's a line in there that completely starts the roller coaster of emotions that Digger Digwillow goes through and what I went through when I first heard it.

On the night of Jesus' crucifixion, a notorious murderer was released at the request of the people. It was tradition for the governor to release one prisoner at the passover feast, and at his wife's request, Pilot offered a choice to the people on that passover night. "Who should I release - Barrabas or Jesus?"

"BARRABAS! RELEASE BARRABAS"

In the AIO episode, the roman gaurd is releasing Barrabas, and as he lets him go, Barrabas is flabbergasted. "Where am I to go?"

The Roman Centurion answered, "You are free to go; Jesus has taken your place."

Barrabas, no matter how good we are, is ALL of us. And Jesus took our place. When we were fully deserving of our punishment, Jesus took our place.

I think that seeing myself as Barrabas makes the sacrifice that Jesus made mean SO much more. No, I've never murdered anyone, but I've surely done my own fair share of dispicable things. The state of my soul was no better off than Barrabas'...and yet, Jesus died for me...and took my place.

For me.

Nurture Protection

I was reading Heather Koerner's piece on Nurturing Protection over at Boundless.org today, and she quotes John Piper as saying this (emphasis mine):

"Nurture" means that a mature woman senses a responsibility not merely to receive, but to nurture and strengthen the resources of masculinity. She is to be his partner and assistant. She joins in the act of strength and shares in the process of leadership. She is, as Genesis 2:18 says, "a helper suitable for him."

That line, "Shares in the process of leadership", is getting a lot of scorn from a bunch of men on another blog. They seem to think that this line says that the woman shares in leadership. Or they actually do take issue with the sharing in the process. If its the former, they're right to have some issue with it - a woman's role is to submit to her husband's leadership. Not share in his leadership. Although, it could be argued that she shares in his leadership every time she acts in his authority when he is absent (i.e. making financial decisions, caring for the children when he is not available). It is not good for a husband to nullify his wife and revoke her of ANY authority whatsoever in his household - but neither is it wise to give her as much authority as he is supposed to have.

However, if they take issue with the latter, than I believe they are missing something in scripture. Woman was created to complete man - not be his doormat. She was created to be his companion, not his subject. She was created to be his "life giver", as I've already written about. "The process of leadership" is the growth of leadership, the developing of leadership, and the display of leadership. She SHARES in that process, as she steps down and lets him lead, as she encourages him in his strength. She is a PART of that. With marriage, they are ONE. So yes, she DOES share in it. She is a part of him.

There is a very important role for each gender. It is important that women relinquish whatever claim they think they have to authority and leadership, so that men can LEAD. But at the same time, its very important that men affirm the importance of women in their God-given role, whatever that may be.

Are we indeed unnecessary and only good for bearing kids? Or are we actually important in "completeing" a man, being his companion, and sharing in something that sincerely affirms and affects our husbands? Are we just as disposable as many women have claimed men to be? Or do we sincerely NEED eachother. Like really really need eachother.

The Woman in Ministry

This is by far the best way I have ever seen this presented. Jen at Boundless had this to say:

Concerning all the comments on women as pastors, I thought it might be helpful to go through a few passages on the subject, as it is a vital one but one that is often misunderstood. I hope and pray these will be of some help to anyone who may be confused or need reassuring. I will start by going through 2 key passages in the New Testament that pertain to the order of leadership in the local church. Then we’ll go through the examples of Deborah and Priscilla, which are brought up frequently, and Galatians 3:28 which is often taken out of context, and finally pastors and elders and spiritual gifts, which can help put these teachings into perspective. Note, this is only a brief overview as I don’t have time to go over everything. If you’re looking for an excellent resource that covers the topic in more detail, I’d recommend “Men and Women Equal Yet Different: A Brief Study of the Biblical Passages on Gender” by Alexander Strauch.

Headship in the local church
For whatever reason – and we don’t need to understand the reason why – God has ordained that men be the leaders in the local church. This does not mean that women are never leaders. They may lead women’s ministries, etc; this will be discussed further in another section.

The bible is absolutely clear about this and to dispute this matter is to not only to make a mockery of God’s Word, but to disobey Him. Scripture speaks for itself:

1 Corinthians 14:34-38 “Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in the church. Or did the word of God come originally from you? Or was it you only that it reached? If anyone thinks himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord.”

The last verse says it all: If anyone thinks himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord. How can one argue with that? The only way to argue with it is to deny Scripture. Or will we also deny 2 Timothy 3:16: “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”?

1 Timothy 2:11-14 “Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.”

For all those who want to say that Paul was writing this in a particular period of history when women would shout out in the middle of the service or whatever, there is no way that this passage can be dismissed on cultural grounds. In 1 Corinthians Paul says clearly “the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord.” Here, Paul appeals to Creation. He is not giving cultural reasons. Unless we want to deny that the Scriptures are the infallible Word of God, there is no way we can deny that it is not God’s will that women remain silent in the church, that they do not have authority over a man – ie, they are not to be in leadership over, or to be teaching a man, in the local church.



Deborah
One OT illustration that is often used to suggest that women should have positions of leadership in the church is that of Deborah in Judges 4. However, if you read the story carefully, the exact opposite point is clear: God has ordained that men should be leaders.
1. The Israelites were not exactly following the Lord during this period (4:1-2 “When Ehud was dead, the children of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord. So the Lord sold them into the hand of Jabin king of Canaan, who reigned in Hazor.”) So to begin with, Deborah was judging Israel at a point when they were not following the Lord. She is not commended for this; it is stated as fact, and to take an example for women leadership from a period when God’s people were not following Him is probably not a good principle.
2. Deborah herself rebukes Barak for not taking more of a leadership position in leading the Israelites into battle against their oppressors (4:6-7).
3. Barak doesn’t want to be a leader. In the case where the man called to take leadership refused to take it, God in His mercy used a woman. In verse 8 Barak says to Deborah, “If you will go with me, then I will go; but if you will not go with me, I will not go!” Deborah responds, “I will surely go with you; nevertheless there will be no glory for you in the journey you are taking, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.” Here, Deborah is again acknowledging the Barak should be the leader, but that the Lord will use her because he refuses to take on the responsibility. As a result, he will not receive any glory. Deborah is to be admired as a woman who followed the Lord when no man would, and for that she is a great example. But she is not an example of the norm, and that is clear.
4. To an extent, this is not even a relevant example for the discussion of whether or not women should be in leadership in the local church. Although male leadership is the norm throughout Scriptures, and is commanded in the New Testament for the local church, it is not wise to take examples from the Jews of the Old Testament and apply them to the way the local church operates. We have been given ample instruction in the New Testament dictating how the Lord would have the church operate. (Note, many people are confused about the Jews and the church – they are not one and the same. I don’t have the time to go into detail here).

Aquila and Priscilla
As previously mentioned, Aquila and Priscilla work as a team to correct a young man who is zealous for the Lord. Notice, Priscilla is not working alone but with her husband. Also, this is not within the context of the gathering of the local church. See….

Galatians 3:28 (“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”) To use this verse to say that women can have roles of leadership over men in the church, is to a) take the verse out of context, and b) to make the Scriptures contradict what is clearly taught in other passages. Taken in context, this verse is talking about the availability of salvation to all believers. Galatians 3:26 says, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” In the Old Testament, the Jews were God’s chosen people. Jesus was prophesied to the Jews as their Redeemer. What was not universally understood at the time was that Christ also came for the Gentiles. Here in Galatians, Paul is reassuring the Gentiles in Galatia that salvation is for all men, not just the Jews. The phrase, “for you are all one in Christ Jesus,” further proves the point. This is not a verse suggesting that there is no order in the church, that there is no structure, that there is no distinction between the roles of men and the roles of women in the local church.

Pastors and Elders
There is much confusion in the local church today about pastors and elders. Nowhere in Scripture is there a pattern for modern-day pastors. Nowhere does it suggest that there should be one or two men solely responsible for all the teaching in the church and for all the caring of the spiritual needs of the church. In the local churches in the New Testament, the spiritual leaders were elders. 1 Timothy 3 outlines the qualifications for elders (those responsible for the spiritual care of the local church) and deacons (those responsible for maintenance of the local church – this might include being responsible for the church budget or for coordinating ministries under the elders, etc).

Today, churches hire a “pastor,” who is primarily responsible for the spiritual care of the local church. The term is somewhat unfortunate, as a pastor could technically be someone who has the gift of pasturing – caring for and being spiritual leaders, in any capacity. So technically, a woman can be a pastor.

I bring this up because I notice at times in this debate that some people, saying that women can be pastors, simply mean that women can be the leader in a ministry involving the spiritual well-being of women and children, which is absolutely correct. However, it doesn’t mean that a woman can be in leadership in any capacity over men.

Spiritual Gifts
One of the women people bring forth in the debate over whether or not women can be in leadership positions in the local church is that of spiritual gifts. Nowhere does Scripture say that any spiritual gifts are only for men, or only for women, so if a woman has the gift of teaching or pasturing, why would God have a structure in place that doesn’t allow them to teach or pastor?

This stems from a misunderstanding of spiritual gifts. In 1 Corinthians 12 Paul says, “Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I do not want you to be ignorant.” He goes on to say, “There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all.” He goes on to list some spiritual gifts.

Notice: there are different gifts, different ministries, and different activities. So perhaps a man has a gift of teaching. This does not necessarily mean that he is gifted to preach from the pulpit in the local church. Perhaps he is gifted in teaching one-on-one. Perhaps he is gifted in teaching and evangelizing, to clearly explain to the gospel to non-believers. As such, he may be involved in a ministry of teaching outside of the local church, in street ministry or something. Or perhaps another man is good at teaching through writing, and is involved in writing books or articles to teach others. This is just discussing one gift – teaching – but there different ministries and different activities that it can be used in.

As such, a woman may have the gift of teaching. The Lord, in His wisdom, has ordained clearly that women should be silent in the church, that she should not be teaching and leading and having authority over the men in the local church. But perhaps she can use her gift in Sunday School, or at a girls camp, or as a speaker at a women’s conference.

Perhaps a woman has the gift of pasturing. She may have a ministry of overseeing a ladies’ bible study, or of meeting with women in the local church to pray with them and encourage them in times of need. She doesn’t need to be standing at the front of the church to be used mightily by God.

I think she articulated it very well and I'm grateful to her for spending the time writing that! I once wrote the following and it can be found here:

When claiming that God created you in some way, always remember that you are a fallen creature. You are not without sin. Your natural desires, talents, and skills must be harnessed to God's will, not allowed to reign freely. Yes, he gave you skills, talents, and desires that he wants you to use and have fulfilled. But he wants you to submit those to his will and keep them under his hand.

It has always bothered me that women who are gifted in teaching and "pasturing" as Jen put it would rather go against scripture and lead an entire congregation than go with scripture and teach women about what it means to be a woman of God. I've long contested that if those women had embraced women's ministries, then the women's ministries wouldn't be in such shambles right now.

And finally, an awesome quote from Jen that she ended her post with:

What is more important, our society’s view of what is just? Our society’s view of what men and women should or shouldn’t do? Our own sense of what is fair and right? Or what God has plainly instructed?

Until death do us part...But lets plan for earlier.

I was asking for advice on house buying. Not because I'm ready to buy a house (mentally I am, situationally, I'm not), but because I want to know if I'm doing the right things to prepare for buying a house wisely.

I have an interesting little plan going on (that will have to be approved by Future Husband, currently Anonymous though there is a candidate). I'm currently paying off all my credit cards (2 more payments to go! WOOHOO!!!).

Well, my dear boss (who I have written about before due to his frustrating view of marriage) told me that if I plan on buying a house with someone else, to make sure I split everything, record who paid for what, etc...

I stopped him mid-sentence and told him I plan on being married to the person...He didn't miss a beat. "Do it anyway. You never know what will happen."

This brought the following question to mind. Yeah, it might happen. But I'm promising to love this person til death do us part...and he the same with me. So, in spite of making that promise, I should be planning for a divorce? How many people approach marriage like that? And expect their marriage to work when they begin their marriage with this kind of trust? Don't sound like it makes for a very good start.

Lol...I feel a need to make some clarifications here.

I am not the kinda girl who plans on marrying a sugar daddy and bolting. In fact, all my financial plans involve my income being the primary nest egg that we build our initial life together...using strictly my own income to build up the savings account, pay off cumulative debt, and use as a downpayment in buying a house. That's a lot of risk to pour into a marriage.

Here's the thing, though. Marriage is two becoming one. Why would you marry someone you don't trust? And why would you treat someone you trust with distrust? It doesn't seem like the appropriate attitude to approach marriage with.

I'll stick with Will Smith's view of marriage...Divorce is NOT an option...EVER. Oh wait...that was God's view, wasn't it...

Huh.

A Voice to be Heard

I would like to write.

I would like to write about what Biblical Womanhood is. I would like to write about their role as Eder Knegdo.

However, I am lacking in sympathy for a certain unsympathetic group of men and fail to be able to write in a gracious manner.

I should stop reading their blogs. Although they increase my urgency to write towards women about things women should be hearing, their incredible pessimism and outlashing makes me want to stay silent.

Here's the deal. Titus 2:3-5 says this:

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I have a strong desire to be involved in women's ministries. My inability to connect with the leadership or mentors within a church has (hopefully temporarily) confined me to the blog. So, for now, this is where I'll be.

I'm not perfect. I'm still young. But very few women have stepped up to teach me how to be a loving wife and mother except my own mother. So, as I learn, I will teach. As I teach, I will learn.

And hopefully, I can make a difference in the lives of those who read. But most of all, I hope that the words I speak are words from God. To bring glory to him is the chief aim.

So...I will write when I recover the compassion that has been lost while reading uncompassionate blogs.

National Baked Bean Month

Yes...

You read that right. July is National Baked Bean Month.

And in the spirit of Global Warming, I'd like to tell you how the world would be a better place without Baked Beans.

Every day, the average person passes 1 - 3 pints of gas a day. Yummm...

Baked Beans happen to be very good producers of intestinal gas :)

And apparently gasses are responsible for the breaking down of the O-Zone Layer.

So, this July, I propose we get rid of Baked Beans. And while we're at it, all milk products, cauliflower, broccoli, wheat, barley, and all other foods that cause bacteria produced intestinal gas.

(Actually, did you know that not everyone produces Methane, which is the gas that is primarily associated with the breaking down of the O-zone layer?)

Balance

I find that word to be overused when it comes to discussing Men and Women's issues/rights.

I'm tired of women who have nothing good to say about men who refuse to trust them and rely on them. I'm sick and tired of the attitude that women need to be able to provide for themselves because men can't be trusted. I'm tired of hearing how women can do it all and that we have every right in the workplace as the men...and that we can run the business, country, world better than the men have.

I'm tired of men who have nothing good to say about women who refuse to trust them. I'm sick and tired of the attitude that there is not one good woman who can have good intentions and still make mistakes - horrible mistakes - that go against her character. I'm tired of hearing how women are the cause of all that is wrong in today's society and that feminism has ruined the home, the church, America, and the world.

I wish they'd all just get a grip and start looking at what THEY are doing wrong. Both of them.

Unproductive

I find myself in a bit of a quandary...

I got a new PC today at work and they forgot to install the most critical piece of software for my everyday work life.

Imagine this:

A Software Engineer with no compiler.

So alas, I may end up blogging today :)