Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Until death do us part...But lets plan for earlier.

I was asking for advice on house buying. Not because I'm ready to buy a house (mentally I am, situationally, I'm not), but because I want to know if I'm doing the right things to prepare for buying a house wisely.

I have an interesting little plan going on (that will have to be approved by Future Husband, currently Anonymous though there is a candidate). I'm currently paying off all my credit cards (2 more payments to go! WOOHOO!!!).

Well, my dear boss (who I have written about before due to his frustrating view of marriage) told me that if I plan on buying a house with someone else, to make sure I split everything, record who paid for what, etc...

I stopped him mid-sentence and told him I plan on being married to the person...He didn't miss a beat. "Do it anyway. You never know what will happen."

This brought the following question to mind. Yeah, it might happen. But I'm promising to love this person til death do us part...and he the same with me. So, in spite of making that promise, I should be planning for a divorce? How many people approach marriage like that? And expect their marriage to work when they begin their marriage with this kind of trust? Don't sound like it makes for a very good start.

Lol...I feel a need to make some clarifications here.

I am not the kinda girl who plans on marrying a sugar daddy and bolting. In fact, all my financial plans involve my income being the primary nest egg that we build our initial life together...using strictly my own income to build up the savings account, pay off cumulative debt, and use as a downpayment in buying a house. That's a lot of risk to pour into a marriage.

Here's the thing, though. Marriage is two becoming one. Why would you marry someone you don't trust? And why would you treat someone you trust with distrust? It doesn't seem like the appropriate attitude to approach marriage with.

I'll stick with Will Smith's view of marriage...Divorce is NOT an option...EVER. Oh wait...that was God's view, wasn't it...



Marc said...

Good stuff.
I dated a medical student for about a year, through her graduation and the beginning of her internship. During that transition time, she and several of her believing classmate girlfriends were given the same advice: get a pre-nup and keep everything separate and documented. Mostly because these girls were in position to make lots of money and potentially be taken advantage of by hypothetical college dropout hobos (ahem).
Kathy was completely appalled by the implications of that reasoning, the things that it assumed would be possibilities in life. Infidelity, divorce, separation, selfishness, distrust. I want to live and marry in a way that gives no credence nor provision to these things.

So, just know you're not alone in wanting to live according to God's plan.

Oh, and mad props on getting out of debt!

Christina said...

Thanks :)

Still got student loans, but no more credit cards! YEAY!!!