Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Cold-blooded Killer

For the record, I absolutely DETEST people who villainize all women who have had an abortion.

Yeah, some of them just get one for their bodies, money, irresponsibility, lifestyle and fully know exactly what they are doing.

But not all of them. And it makes me sick to my stomach and want to scratch a man's eyeballs out when he refers to all of those women as cold-blooded killers.

I have no idea why I'm so passionate on this subject, but it is one of the ONLY things that has truly found a home in my heart...a passion to have compassion for pregnant women seeking an abortion and women who have already had one.

Doesn't make me pro-choice, as I'm an incredibly passionate anti-abortionist...but I will not villainize those women simply because they felt they had no other choice.

16 comments:

Marc said...

I just read this yesterday:

"Christianity came in here as before. It came in startingly with a sword, and clove one thing from another. It divided the crime from the criminal. The criminal we must forgive unto seventy times seven. The crime we must not forgive at all. It was not enough that slaves who stole wine inspired partly anger and partly kindness. We must be much more angry with theft than before, and yet much kinder to thieves than before. There was room for wrath and love to run wild."

-chesterton

Christina said...

Hmmm...

I really think that it comes down to a matter of discernment.

A 15 year old girl who was the victim of a rape...

A 17 year old who was brought up in a christian household, parents heavily involved in church, who got mixed up with the wrong boy...

A mother whose husband just lost his job and they can't even afford to feed the 5 kids they already have...

I find it very difficult to label those people as "cold blooded killers". Probably because their situations created a scenario in which they didn't feel they had much choice in the matter.

That's why I care so much. They've been tricked and conned into believing they have no other choice.

Christina said...

Marc,

Check out this post.

Carrie C. said...

I get what Marc is getting at. Christina - we should villanize those women only to the degree that Christ villanizes us in our sin.
For these women, certainly, love is more important than condemnation. They have probably condemned themselves much more than could ever fathom.
I think this is lost on many people.

Christina said...

we should villanize those women only to the degree that Christ villanizes us in our sin.

I was thinking about what Marc had to say yesterday and THIS hit me.

I have a large issue with people villainizing these women while thinking they (the accusers) are completely innocent and any better off.

No, I don't think these women should get off scott free...but I really don't think its in OUR hands to punish them for what they've done. Making abortion illegal gives the state some room for action (while making it less accessible), but right now, their punishment is not in our hands. Its in God's. And right now, its our job to love them. Never condoning the sin, but always loving them.

That doesn't excuse them for what they did wrong, it doesn't eradicate what they did, and it doesn't remove all consequences off of them. Its just that NONE of us are any less guilty than they are.

John said...

"And it makes me sick to my stomach and want to scratch a man's eyeballs out when he refers to all of those women as cold-blooded killers."

Christina,

Do you claim that men are the only ones who make such comments, or just that you only want to scratch the eyeballs out of people who make these comments when they are men?

Christina said...

John,

Good point.

My passion definitly isn't checked at the door when my best (female) friends do the same thing.

However, the words pour out of a man's mouth in my ear shot far more often than they pour out of a woman's.

Christina said...

And John,

If you are the same john that comments on Boundless that calls these women cold-blooded killers and believes that people who think drinking alcohol is ok means they aren't really christians, it was YOUR comments (both in the past and on the day this post was made) that has set off both my posts on abortion.

So really, just one man. Although, I believe other men in the past have echoed your sentiment far more passionately than any of the female commenters.

So, if you take issue with my narrowing this down to one gender, keep in mind it was written as a passionate response to a MAN's comments (likely your's).

John said...

I am not this John, and don't know what you are talking about, but just the same, you have made me feel most unwelcome to read your blog.

Christina said...

I apologize, John, but you came here accusing me.

You aren't the first whose come here accusing me. And its very frustrating indeed.

John said...

Christina,

Was I not correct in my accusation? This is a sincere question, because I am confused by what you wrote in the blog post compared to what you replied to me in the comments.

Reading your blog post caused me to think what I wrote in my first comment. You clarify in one comment that when you said "a man" you were not talking about just any man, but one particular man that you had in mind. But your earlier comment shows that you consider it a deficiency in men in general more so than women in general, that they should consider all women who have an abortion as cold-blooded killers, based on the fact that you have noticed more men than women making such comments.

You see, perhaps, why I am confused as to what you are trying to say? If you are saying that you want to scratch out John from Boundless's eyes for what he said, I would thank you for the clarification, and that I misunderstood what you wrote in the post, prompting my comment. But if you are saying you want to scratch the eyeballs out of any man who makes such a comment, I ask then, why not every woman also?

Christina said...

John,

It is a common (very common) use of words to use "man/men" when referring to people in general.

My first comment clarified that I would not differentiate between genders, however my experience has been that more men say this than women. My experience.

That answered your question.

Then I further clarified (not in a very graceful way) that when I wrote this, I was writing with the words of a specific man ringing in my head, which could've further pushed my perceived gender specific blow. I thought that you would've been that man. I was wrong.

You came here expecting the worst out of me. You assumed two scenarios, presuming that there could be no other possible reason for me phrasing it in such a way. I gave you 2 reasons for why I used the word "man" without clarifying both male and female while letting you know that my response is not limited to just men.

Considering how volatile some of the men have been who have commented here and how I've been treated on other blogs, your question put me on the defensive. You were right that I was being one-sided, but you were wrong in assuming that my only reasons were "male-bashing" reasons.

John said...

Christina,

Appreciate your time in responding to me. I can't say that I'm very satisfied with your response, but thanks for it nonetheless.

Unless you wish to continue, I think it's best to stop here.

SavvyD said...

Agreed. And some women really do regret a choice they made as a result of a rape--but did not have the maturity to handle the situation at the time. Not everyone went out and had 2-3 abortions.

Adam said...

Consider my eyeballs sufficiently scratched. This is Adam from Boundless - who used the term "3000 cold-hearted killers" on the day in question. (I'm not named John, but I think you may have been referring to me.)

No doubt abortion is a unique sin. There are often circumstances that make women feel compelled to get an abortion. They can be encouraged to by others as well. Oftentimes, the full impact of what they have done is not realized until years later. Regardless, it leaves many scars and questions. I am grateful for people like you who are able to help people work through these questions - and maybe even prevent some abortions from even happening.

--------

I have found that in order to get some people to think, an extreme example must be used. In this case I used an extreme stereotype because people were called "monsters" by many people in a prior blog for committing a sin that - while more pernicious, is less destructive. It was meant to show that we can't blame the government or "Planned Parenthood" because an individual chooses to sin - extenuating circumstances not withstanding. It was also meant to show that grace is a two-way street. We can't just villainize one type of sinner and show grace to the next. We need to show grace to ALL.

I apologize that the comment offended you.

Christina said...

Thank you very much for your response Adam.

I couldn't remember if it was you or John - though there is an ultra conservative over at Boundless named John who has rubbed me the wrong way on this issue to.

I agree that all sins should be treated the same way.